Frumpfighter

A difficult day as a mom of a ‘different’ child

Posted on: March 23, 2009

Today was as heartbreaking as any I’ve had in the 6 1/2 years I’ve been a parent. My son, Sage, has had his share of doctor’s appointments, therapy and difficult moments in the journey of being autistic and recently diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety.

He does have awkward social skills and tends to run from one place to another so quickly, you have to wonder what is going on that brilliant, yet busy, mind of his. But he is a sweetheart and loves all people without prejudice.

This morning when I saw his little neighbor friend outside, I told him to go out and play with him. After a long winter of being cooped up in the house, he was excited to see his friend again. Last fall the boy, who is probably 4 or 5 years old, and Sage were the best of buds.

But over the winter, the boy changed and Sage remained the same. His little friend is now buds with his older brother and his friend, who just last fall ignored him. Now it seems the threesome is a little too cool to play with Sage. Don’t get me wrong, I understand Sage can be difficult to play with as he tends to be in his own world sometimes.

But that does not make him devoid of feelings and the need for friendship. Each time Sage approached the boys today, they told him to go away. Even his best bud from last fall. Happy-go-lucky as he is, Sage went and rode his bike in the neighbor’s driveway.

I’m sure I am taking his rejection much worse than he is. I know this type of behavior is part of growing up, whether you are autistic or not, but I am worried that someday his cheerful spirit will be crushed. While the other boys have obviously changed, I hope Sage will not.

Here is a column my husband wrote about what is “normal” after he spoke to a class about Sage: http://watchingwheels.wordpress.com/

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7 Responses to "A difficult day as a mom of a ‘different’ child"

[…] A difficult day as a mom of a ?different? child ? Frumpfighter By frumpfighter My son, Sage, has had his share of doctor?s appointments, therapy and difficult moments in the journey of being autistic and recently diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. He does have awkward social skills and tends to run from one place to … Frumpfighter – https://frumpfighter.wordpress.com/ […]

Wow, this is such a great post. I read your husband’s too and it’s great as well.

My son is almost 6 1/2 and was resently diagnosed with Autism. Reading this article almost seemed like I was reading about him. He has a great memory which keeps us amazed everyday. He also doesn’t let things faze him as they do us “normal” people. I also remember on his first day of kinder his teacher telling me that he wasn’t like the other kids and I remember thinking to myself, “of course not, he’s Dylan, he’s like himself”. Thank you for sharing, it hit really close to home.

Thanks for the comment, Marie. I woke up in tears this morning thinking of how the other kids treated Sage yesterday. But he is upstairs right now singing and playing his piano. If we all could be so resilient and happy…

No kid should have to do through that. It happened to my oldest son when he was about that age. But, like your son, he proved to be resilient and never let it bother him. He just went out and found other friends. Great posts from you and Jeff.

Thanks, Mike. I’m glad your son is doing well. Sage has other friends too but it just really hurt to see the neighbor kids who have grown up with him turn on him so quickly.

[…] blog post that had the most hits on a single day was about my son being bullied by the neighbor boys. This is bittersweet for me because it was such a painful situation. But I […]

[…] blog post that had the most hits on a single day was about my son being bullied by the neighbor boys.  This […]

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